Batman V Superman PhantomStrider Review

I haven't had this bad a cinema experience since Transformers 4.. That was just... such an impressively incoherent, awful movie. Filled with random flashbacks, endlessless overly-dramatic nitty-gritty music, and not a single likable character... GOD I wanted Lex Luther to DIE by the end! Every time he opened his mouth I just despised his character. He was so painfully ANNOYING!

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with nitty-gritty moments in movies. But Marvel had the common sense to know that when they're doing adult movies about guys flying around in their underwear, you have to throw in some levity and jokes into your movies.

I've heard some people say they like Ben Affleck better than Christian Bale as the new Batman. I have to say, thank Geebus Christian Bale didn't take the role as Batman. He deserved better than this. Ben Affleck tries his best to give Batman that prescence and character, but I kept seeing Batman more as a petulant man-child in a costume than the wise, cool Batman we've all grown to love over the years. There's absolutely no motivation for Batman fighting Superman, and the fight is extremely one-sided and is just mostly watching Superman get the crap beaten out of him. The motivation for their fight is completely nonsensical and seems more like a fanfiction in writing quality.

And the movie takes itself so STUPIDLY seriously! It's basically a fanfiction fight between two superheroes! How can you be possibly taking it seriously?! I felt no investment in the characters because nothing is properly explained, the narrative is garbage and the movie is all over the place all the time like it's on LSD. The CG is horrendous too. Filled with seizure-inducing flashy images that feel so artificial that all immersion is lost.

And the movie just goes on... and ON... AND ON!! GOD IT WOULDN'T STOP! Why is every single DC movie so endlessly long? All I felt was what a horrendous waste of money this movie was. And the movie is so proud of itself.. The music felt so self-absorbed in it's own self-imagined magnificence that I just wanted to punch this movie..

I wrote this after seeing the movie, but I've also heard that critics hate it. I am so relieved it has been badly received, but sadly, it broke box office records the opening weekend.

But personally, I am done with DC... Man of Steel stunk and Batman vs Superman was somehow even worse.